Soul of The Machine
by Infamouskid
Summary: Asuka is mentally damaged after attempting to show off to Shinji and pilot Unit One. Her mind is violated, but not before Yui Ikari can save Asuka from herself. With the help and advice of a mother, Asuka finally has the courage to tell Shinji how she feels about him. Shinji and Asuka have a heated battle in a hospital warm with conflicting emotions. /Lemon fanfic/


Hello there, this is a lemon fic of Shinji and Asuka told from Asuka's perspective. This story could be put in between episode 14 and 15 of the series chronologically. This is my first lemon fic and I hope you like it.

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Love in the Heart

The LCL felt cold and alone. Strange feelings washed over my body, making me shudder from the sheer touch. Shinji's plug was just as stupid as the boy himself. My volunteerism had gotten me into trouble. Red hair clouded my vision again, with a gentle touch it had returned to its normal place. To my left, a comm links opened. It was Ritsuko checking in again.

"Hello Asuka, your synchronization rate seems to be dropping at an incredible pace. I recommend you clear your mind." She talked in her monotone voice with me, same as always. 'Why can't I get praise like Shinji? I already proved myself to be a better pilot than him. So why was I stuck in an Eva because I wanted someone to recognize me?' The comm channel stayed open while Ritsuko checked my results. Alarm sounds started blaring in my eardrums. It felt like my skull had been pierced by a drill. Irreversible damage was probably close, so my hands raised up to protect them from it.

'Gottverdammt! Who thought of this type of thing?' Listening proved to be difficult, but it was possible. Ritsuko and staff could be heard screaming orders over the control room at each other.

"Eva Unit One has rejected to retro outfitting. I'm trying to eject the Entry Plug, but command is being denied!" Ritsuko's right hand, Maya, was leading the information. "Try to terminate the mental connection and then restart the program." Ritsuko snapped her orders like usual.

"Program and Eva have failed to restart! Should I cancel the power supply and send for manual plug removal?" From my point of view, things were becoming increasingly onerous in the control room.

"Eva has cut lines with command and is activating! We're being denied from entry source. Eva is emitting power from the locks. Lockdown has commenced. Sending squad for retrieval." My audio connection was lost then. A ringing, ominous hush entered my head. Spotted at the bottom of my plug was a glow. It started out small, but became human in shape once it approached me. A hand, or what appeared to be, reached out to touch my skin. Screaming in shock was nothing to the entity. My body kicked for protection, but it was useless. Gradually, the light moved up my body, by starting at my feet and moving from there. My body was paralyzed from the slightest touch. When no struggled remained in my body, the entity continued on. It casted a soft light from the parts it inhabited of me.

"No, stay out of my head! Go away, I don't need you there!" My screams of pain echoed in the plug. The light was invading me, making the sacred parts of my psyche available. It probed where it didn't belong. Flashes of childhood swept by. Mom. Why did you have to leave your only daughter miserable and alone? She was the root of my pain, but it didn't stop there. Dad. His substitutes for love were nothing to me. A doll was nothing compared to compassion. He had no shred of anything towards me. He just filled his life with the hole of his heart and walked on. All I ever wanted was acknowledgement, to be known. I didn't want to be by myself…

No! That's a lie! I've always been by myself, and I always will be! To be strong is to be brave. I'm brave enough to live my life like an adult. No distractions will come my way! But please, never see what I truly am.

Momma...

Papa...

My answer was never heard.

I was abandoned.

Strings were ever pulled more. My mind was crumbling. My screams never presented themselves to me. I had no idea of here, and where there was. I drifted in my mind. Searching for protection. A shadow followed me, casting illusions of who I am, and what I was.

'Don't look at me!'

'Now's my chance.'

'What are you, stupid?'

'You've been dumped for the new model.'

'Why are boys such perverted freaks?'

'Hi, I'm Asuka Langley Soryu. Nice to meet you.'

" **Get out of my head**!"

'Get out of my head!'

" **I'll kill you**!"

'I'll kill you!'

" **You don't know me well enough to see the real me**!"

' **But I do**.'

"Who are you?"

'Why do you hide behind false feelings?'

"What do you want with me?"

'Who is the real Asuka Langley Soryu?'

"Why are you hurting me?'

'What are you truly hiding from?'

Asuka was a pale reflection of herself. A mirror to gaze into her own soul.

"Hi, I'm Asuka Langley Soryu. Nice to meet you."

Floating in endless abyss, it was a torture only preserved for the damned. Like me. Somebody grabbed my hand, looking up provided the sight of Eva Unit One pulling my Eva out of Lava. It was hot for me, much like the heat that rose to Shinji's face when I rubbed my breasts by the pool. Showing that side of myself to Shinji was easy. The hard part was letting him return the favor.

What? Shinji loving someone like me? Who couldn't love my irresistible charm? His face curbed the impact of my shoe. We were in the vents trying to find a way into Nerv. Power was out and all three of us pilots tried to find a way in. Shinji was right behind me crawling in a vent. He was probably looking up my skirt! He deserved a kick or two, that idiot….

"No, I can't have feelings for someone so weak!"

'But you like it when he looks at you.'

Shinji casually looked at me from his bed. After a brief greeting and some encouraging words towards him, my bed had been set up in Misato's room.

"This is the impenetrable Wall of Jericho. Take one step over this wall and you're a dead man. And now, it's time for children to go to bed!"

The slamming of the door didn't help my overflowing feelings. Why? Why didn't Shinji see my attempts? Only know him for a little while and he was already a lost cause. But I couldn't help my emotions. I tried to be the best adult I could be, but emotions always got in my way.

'To be lost in emotions is life. You have only done wrong by hiding what you want and perceive.'

"I've been right! This is how I'll stay strong! For mama! For myself!"

'Mama?'

"Yes, I have to stay strong for mama."

'Asuka?'

Something touched my face. The hand of a young woman, maybe a mother, with light brown hair was holding me in her hands.

"Who…"

"I'm Yui Ikari. Better known as the creators of the Evangelion, and Shinji's mom. Please, understand my son is different. He had to survive on his own after I left, and continue to struggle with his dad. I know you despise him Asuka, but just know this, he loves you tenderly. He just doesn't know how to communicate properly. You'll have to be the one who makes advances on his behalf."

"Wait, I never said I loved him!"

"Your soul speaks the truth, tell him how you feel Asuka and you'll be happy."

"But I, I don't think I can…"

"Nobody finds the perfect moment, we just create them Asuka. Please, make Shinji happy, for me."

"I feel...strange…"

My body was numb, not even my fingers would move at command. The light slowly receded from view and my vision became filled with darkness. Slowly the energy my body sought disappeared. My eyes closed and liquid started rolling down my cheeks.

Goddamnit. My eyes subconsciously cried again.

* * *

Warmth. This warmth spread to me through touch. It held my hand and seemed to last for all my desires. Snoring occupied my ears and played their own melody. Opening my eyes, to spy Shinji sleeping in a chair by me. His body had fallen on the bed and his hand outstretched to mine. Hospital equipment surrounded me. But Shinji's hand was the only abnormal item in the room. Seeing it touch my skin sent fiery passion to my face.

He shifted around after he felt me jolt awake. He was slow at first, but realized what he thought to be a mistake. He tried to take his hand away, but my hand followed his and clasped it between mine.

He blushed at the close touch and struggled under my hold.

"A-asuka?" He asked me stupidly.

"Shinji, I need to know something?"

He quit the irritating squirming and looked at me. He had a blush applying to his entire face.

"Do you...do you like me?"

He peered another way at the question and avoided my eyes. He needed a good hit right about now.

"Hey, I asked if you like me idiot?" Wanting to pull him closer to get an answer was deemed appropriate by me, but all he wanted was to get away. The conclusion was him falling on his ass after he pulled too much. Jumping from the bed down to his level was pretty easy. He was sitting on his rear while myself crouched down between his legs. At this point, my gown slid around my body from the activity. Oh, this surprised me. 'I guess somebody dressed me in a hospital gown while I was here?' This was probably another reason he was tense around me right now.

"You know Shinji, a wise woman told me to confess my feelings, but she also told me something interesting…" The words were followed by trailing my finger from his shoulder all the way to his belly button. Stopping before my flesh hit private territory and pressing my pointer finger against his nose. Wouldn't want him getting any weird ideas.

"I heard that you like me too Shinji." He looked utterly terrified by my existence right about now. Beads of sweat dripped down his face after sometime. 'Damn this Junge. All the attempts in the world couldn't get him to say anything to me. Fine, I'll play this game Shinji. You better get ready.' Leaning forward my body and planting my lips on his seemed easy enough, but he just sat there. He was like a statue, just more unromantic! Come on, show me something! My whole body was leaning on his for support by this point of contact. This was boring and painful at this point. I put all this effort into an emotional kiss and he didn't even hold me for support. I quit. I'm done with this stupid boy. Those scenes from earlier were probably just dreams. Nothing more than a scream for the unreachable. My head jerked back, gasping for breath. That was, until Shinji put his hands behind my head and pulled me back in. My muffled moans of protest did nothing against him. He sucked the breath out of me. Pushing him physically was the only hint he got at breathing room.

"Give me a break Dummkopf!" His eyes were full of emphoria. He had the look of being on a drug. No focus was set in those blue orbs of his, the gaze was empty, but full of satisfaction. His face held absolute bliss. So after all this effort my adult body put into his lust and I still wasn't satisfied? I wanted more.

"Shinji, you think we could do more?" My brash words embarrassed me, but I desired him.

"Um, s-sure Asuka. I just don't really know what to do…" He mumbled off before saying anything else. It was because of inexperience. If he didn't know where to go, I could guide him. I just needed to take a step in the right direction. He attempted to press our lips together, it was sloppy, but my heart appreciated it. My lips pushed back with sexual hunger for him. His touch felt too good. His hands played on my skin and danced away in my sensations. Mein Gott. I leaned him down on the floor and sat on his groin. He moaned softly into my throat. Something was pressing me in the thigh. Concentrating on it was hard, because Shinji was taking all of my attention. Our tongues made mad dashes in and out of the conjoined mouths. He tasted like sweets? Strawberry taste slides from his tongue to mine. 'Did he expect something like this to happen?' That boy, expecting his libido to stay contained, but secretly hoping for more contact with the opposite sex.

The object near my thighs was getting larger. Oh Hölle! That was his manhood pressing against my flesh. Falling off him and crashing my head on the bed seemed unsuccessful. Rubbing the pain away did little for me too. Shinji looked surprised at the exchange until he noticed the tent his member was pitching. He quickly glanced at me, then at his member, to me again.

"I'm sorry Asuka. It's just that I…." Cutting off his words with my hands was effective. My hands touched him down there. He wiggled at the sensitive way fingers caressed him. My nether region was starting to heat up from the engaging thoughts in my head. I wanted to have adult fun.

"Asuka, we shouldn't." He denied my physical requests. Plans of the mind had different opinions. Guiding his hand to my breast and made him gently squeeze by applying pressure through his hand from mine. Moving away, he continued to be interested in my breasts. What a child, my body had more than breasts to supply his needs. His gaze was all I desired right now. Keep looking at me Shinji, it felt so good. He kept fondling while kissing me. My whole body felt great, everything I felt lit me on fire. This was too much. My lower half was building up intensely.

"Shinji, I'm gonna climax. Don't stop." His look suggested surprisement, but he kept touching my body. So close. This was what my heart wanted all along. To have him connect with me was everything. Squealing in pleasure was all my mind could muster at this point. Finally after finished convulsing on Shinji, we both slowed down. His hands reached under my shirt and held my exposed breasts.

"Hey, slow down there!" My protest was met by him putting a hand under my gown skirt fabric. The fingers smoothed up and down my panties. Softly touching me on the outside and giving me pleasure. He slid past them and inserted a finger or two inside. My nails dug into his back and he let out a groan of pain. Anyone could tell he had no idea of what to do, so reaching down and helping him immensely was good for starters. Directing his fingers to the front and gave him a path to piston with. With the kissing, we only stopped to take breaks for air and went at it again. We found ourselves in between the bed and chair of where Shinji sat before. His motions down there got better over the course, and he was soon bringing me to the edge again.

"Wait Shinji, stop for a second." He did as commanded and quit. Looking down at his bulge, then at him, questioning him with my eyes. He gave a nod of weary approval and my hands completed the task. Unzipping proved to be easy, handling was another thing. His erect member bobbed in my grasp. The rhythmic pulse sent waves through my skin, and ended up at my privates. My body was so ready for him. My mind couldn't stand it any longer. Without hesitation, my body lifted up above his member. He finished by moving my panties to the side. Hesitantly my legs lowered and his tip came into me. My entrance spread wide to accommodate him. Sounds of vigor and passion filled our hospital room. It was shameful for me to hear the sounds, but my body steadily went on. His member filled me up eventually, that was until he hit my hymen. His ignorance of a girl's body preceded him undoubtedly. 'I hope this wasn't the best Japanese schools could offer on Sex Ed.'

In the state he was in, my mind went to autopilot and finished landing on his lap. Pain was present ever so. Shinji noticed my struggle and wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, you looked like you were in pain." His meek apology was run of the mill, but his feeble try at comforting me was kinda sweet. 'Damnit, don't give in to his ways Asuka. He'll never change for the better like this.'

"Just worry about pleasing me Third Child." The facial features of his face looked stricken with hurt expressions. 'Bitte, stop playing with my heart and just start going already!' Kissing him intensely seemed to help him reinvigorate. We tried our best to match rhythms at first, but to no prevail. 'This is just like synchronisation training again.'

My disgust was bittersweet. Shinji did his best to pump into me, while my hips tried to come up and down all the way on his member. This was met by Shinji's penis falling out of me several times. Not that his member was short or anything, we just had horrible timing on both parts. Giving him a look of stern animosity didn't help either. He unhurriedly let himself back inside and put effort into grabbing both sides of my plump hips. With his maneuver, he could easily thrust into me. Hands locked onto his shoulders for support. Moans passed between me and Shinji. He had a low grunt, and me a high pitched scream of pleasure. Everything ached with warmth and energy. My body was on fire while my nerves tingled with great pleasing.

'I feel so full.' His member shot in and out of me, and my natural reaction was to grasp on to him, with my arms, and with my privates. My body could feel every single curve he marked in me, every moving part of flesh. He was so close to bringing me over. This stupid boy who I often ridiculed was now having sex with me. It felt so great. Pressure was building above the contact where we connected. We started to get louder with every movement. 'If this was what adults do all the time, then I need to feel more.'

My voice practically purred in his ear at the arousal he was bringing me.

"Oh god, don't stop Shinji."

"Asuka, I can't hold out much longer…" Noticing something for the first time, Shinji was actually struggling with himself. He gritted his teeth and was sweating a lot. Oh Crap. 'He doesn't have any protection on, he's probably holding out so he doesn't finish in me." While my extensive memory didn't know much on ejaculation, I held somewhat of a thought towards it.

'I just need to stop and find somewhere for him to safely finish at.'

"Asuka, oh god!" He surprised me by shouting, but then something else brought my attention. His semen started pouring into me forcefully. He gave one last shove and kissed me with everything he had. My vagina reacted and squeezed down on his member. My stomach felt so hot. My best effort at making him pull out soon enough was me moaning seductively in his mouth. This was it. Screaming near the top of my lungs and shuddering by my orgasm was too much to bare. Collapsing, me and Shinji sprawled out on the floor. His penis came out with a wet 'plop' and stayed nested next to my thighs. His semen followed and spilled all over my leg from my vagina. We looked at each other at the realization that he just came into me. He stared lovingly at me while my face held something along the lines of being pissed off. Waiting for my climax to go away before even speaking a word to him. But he did something unthinkable. Shinji reached his hand across to me and caressed my cheek. My anger dissipated and left under his touch.

"Please Asuka, don't leave me." His words were so appealing to me. This lonely boy didn't put it in words, but now more than ever I knew. Shinji also held feelings for me too. This touch and command was his own personal confession. The best thing for me to do was nod and smile at the boy. Words couldn't express how happy I felt when he touched me. Shinji smiled back and held me affectionately.

"Hey Shinji, give some Asuka room for now. I know the girl could use some spac…" That was when the door to the room opened and Misato walked in. She immediately saw me and Shinji lying on the floor. Words also couldn't describe the way the Major looked right now at the newly made couple on the floor.

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End

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Thanks for reading this one-shot of Asuka and Shinji from Asuka's POV. I might update this story often and add more one-shots of different characters from NGE. Also check out, if you're interested, in my other story. Rebirthed Final Hate Can Also be Love. It is from third perspective, but I put a bunch of effort there too. Bye!


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